Weekend Wrap-Up Parte Due

And now for the scattered and smothered part of my blog. Things that happened this week that either made me crazy or gave me great delight. I trust you will be able to figure out which is which.

In the "where have all the proofreaders gone?" category:
Seen at Target on Thursday night - a beverage dispenser which I'm guessing was being marketed to redneck moonshiners because, right there on the box in front of the few literate people left in the world, a picture of said object with the word "lightening" emblazoned on it. Mary took a picture with her cell phone because we were in such "shock and awe"...hopefully, I can upload said photo here at a later date. People, people, people - you "lighten" your hair but when there's a storm you could get zapped by "lightning" whilst drinking "white lightning"...sigh.

Even worse, in the same category, I present for your consideration, this full-page ad (sorry it's not clearer) in a quilt magazine that I discovered at Borders later that same night. I guess "lightning" struck twice. This makes my head hurt...but let's just talk about it "tom-morrow", okay?

Switching gears, after I saw the "tom-morrow" atrocity, I needed something to make me smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a British magazine with French and Saunders on the cover. Oh glee! It was about 15 minutes until closing (I know this because Ded had just made the announcement) so I had to hurry through the article, shushing all who tried to talk to me at that inopportune moment. Okay, maybe I'm one of the last people to discover this but, much to my delight (and I'm sure hers, too) it turns out that Dawn French is married to Lenny Henry.

Lenny Henry is the comedian who played "Chef" in the Britcom of the same name. If you're never seen the series, run (don't walk) to your nearest DVD supplier and scarf up the boxed set. Picture Gordon Ramsay with a fairly inept kitchen staff and tone down the language a bit and you end up with Lenny Henry's role. The thought of him married to Dawn French makes me giggle.

Next...this week I disovered plurk. After listening to Miss Violet go on and on about it, I had to check out what in the world this plurk thing was. I guess it's sort of like having your facebook status meet instant messaging..but on steroids. It is seriously addicting so, if you don't want to be forever chained to your computer, don't (for the love of all things sacred), I repeat, don't go there. (Yes, dear reader, if you are observant, you will see that I have plurky-type-stuff in my right column. I have gone over to the plurk-side.)

Last, but not least, Mary has caught the Amigurumi bug. Although she was in bed (okay, sofabed) all day yesterday, alternating between severe pain and that feeling-no-pain light-headedness, she managed to crochet a carrot, hamburger with onion, and a mouse AND watch the entire first season of House.

I was not as productive but I did finish two bangle bracelets for Mary (see her mouse check them out here). And, for a final quickie, after much frustration, I discovered a handy way to keep my yarn in check whilst working on Mary's slouch hat. (note the many watchful eyes of the adipose...they let me know if I've dropped a stitch)


That's all for now. Wave goodbye to the cute little adipose.

Weekend Wrap-up: Parte Due

So, back again with ye olde weekend wrap-up, entitled "In which I expound on the Dr. Who Debacle" and other not-so-important stuff.

Yes, folks, after months of rumours, David Tennant finally made the dreaded announcement that he will be leaving Dr. Who (and there was much tearing of hair and gnashing of teeth throughout the Who-niverse).

Which brings me to the obvious question - who will be the next Doctor? That is the topic of many forum discussions and I would like to contribute to the debate right here with the obvious, hands-down choice for someone who could really take charge of all the chaos in the Who-niverse. Wait for it...drum roll...cue Terminator music...Gordon Ramsay!

(the rest of this scenario provided by Ded/Dilemma Productions)

Think about it, Dr. Ramsay's Time/Space Nightmares. Davros and the Daleks have soundly been defeated and sequestered somewhere on the spiral arm of galaxy M87 where they are now being rehabilitated in order to fit in with the general population. Of course, their task is to set up and run a successful restaurant that will pass muster when Dr. Ramsay comes to inspect.


Picture the TARDIS appearing in the parking lot which is, of course, nearly empty. Dr. Ramsay observes..."hmmm...good location with the space lanes nearby. Not sure about the name of the place, though. Gastronimate??? Might be sending the wrong f*cking message."


Dr. Ramsay enters the restaurant, daleks bustling around, running into each other, patrons cowering at their tables, wondering if each bite might be their last. The tension is high as Dr. R approaches the maitre d' and is greeted by a surly Davros.

"I am Davros! You will obey me!"

"F*ck me, I don't think so. I'm the Doctor and I'm here to take a look at your establishment. Since there are so few customers here now, I believe I'll seat myself and take a look at your menu."

The Doctor easily finds a vacant table and notices wide aisles, allowing easy access for the Imperial dalek waiters. Unfortunately, this limits the seating capacity drastically. One of the bulky mutants glides to Dr. Ramsay's table, a well-worn menu clutched in its claw. The formerly-white cloth draped over its mechanical arm looks none the worse for wear. The dalek turns quickly toward the Doctor, nearly taking off his head with the menu, and loudly (and electronically) yells, "You will tell me your order now!"

Perusing the menu, the Doctor wonders aloud, "What the f*ck is this shit they are serving? I think I'd better start with the Tarqeq salad and the asteroid-dried Bebhionn rangoon as an appetizer. At least I don't think anybody can f*ck that up."

The waiter glides away, nearly colliding with another dalek-server that is precariously balancing a tray at the end of its specially-modified-for-restaurant-work claw. Glancing around the room, the Doctor wonders just how many patrons actually come in of their free will.

Sounds erupt from the kitchen and Ramsay easily overhears Davros yelling, "You will be punished for this! I am your creator!" There is a crashing of plates, pots, pans, and whatnot and two of the more squeamish customers quickly sneak out the side door.

Time elapses, the Doctor barely makes it through his meal and the scene cuts to the kitchen where he is confronting head chef Davros, who is functioning as maitre d', chief cook, and bottle washer mainly due to the fact that he is the only employee with real arms.

A shouting match begins as the kitchen staff begin to try to escape the confrontation, knocking each other over in the mad dash to the back door and relative freedom.
"You, Davros. What the f*ck were you thinking, putting Akihikotago seeds in the South Synopian BonBon Cherry Chipes? No wonder the locals aren't eating here! And this shit - I wouldn't serve it to the Cult of Skaro!" Pointing to something obviously rotting, Ramsay explodes. "That is not going anywhere except in the f*cking rubbish bin! Are you f*cking blind? Are you trying to poison these patrons?"

Suddenly, it dawns on the Doctor - that is indeed what Davros was intending. He wasn't interested in rehabilitation. No wonder the name of the restaurant is...

"Gastronimate! Gastronimate!" Davros' voice rises above the Doctor's. "I will teach you the power of your words, Doctor. I will destroy you! This is not the end; it is only the beginning! This time we will triumph!"

-------------

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see where this will go. The BBC is totally missing the boat on this one if they don't run with this idea.

Saturday Wrap-Up...parte una

I've decided to use this day to ponder what the week has produced. So, as I sit here with my first cup of coffee for the day and look around the room of many changes, aka "the girls' room" or "Spare Oom" or "the room formerly known as Squirrel's room", the first thing that comes to mind is the chameleon-like nature of this room. This week I've moved my knitting library in here along with various knitting accoutrements so I really am thinking of it more as the knitting room, or the craft room (due to copious amounts of quilting fabric and supplies) or, even better, The Studio. Yes, I like that.

So, The Studio has most of the necessities of life now:
1 - The mighty Wombat of DOOM Computer (in order to read blogs, listen to podcasts, or listen to music to knit by)
2- The TV with DVD player. Many, many thanks to my dad for these (which is a story in itself - more on this at a later date) so I can watch entire seasons of my favourite shows whilst knitting (Buffy marathon, anyone?)
3 - Fairly decent lighting plus two windows for natural light
4 - The knitting library
5 - The knitting stash is nearby (in the master bedroom across the hall) plus more stash in The Studio closet (currently sharing space with the out-of-season clothes but that is about to be rectified since I made an area in my bedroom closet for these non-knitting items when I moved the library in here)
6 - An adjoining bathroom (no explanation necessary if you remember I'm up here for hours on end, drinking coffee and knitting)
7 - The washer and dryer are right outside the door so I can do a modicum of housework while only taking 3 steps outside my studio.
8 - And there's still enough room for the girls to have school in here, with a bookcase for their educational stuff.

I sometimes wonder, should the management realize how cool this room really is, would they raise my rent? Inquiring minds...

The only thing lacking in The Studio is a good knitting chair with better back support. The one I have is comfy but too squooshy (I guess that's because it's the mamma bear's chair). Everybody loves to sit in it and immediately wants to take it home. But I can tell you that I know it's time for a friendly visit to Captain Chiro after a few days of mondo-knitting sessions.

I guess now I need to take some pictures to illustrate this post...but first I must finish this coffee while I write...parte due...What happens in the outside world while I'm too wrapped up in listening to multiple podcasts by Lime & Violet to know there really is a world outside The Studio...or...David Tennant's quitting Dr. Who?? How did that happen???