Remember those commercials that boasted "Milk - It does a body good"?

Well, what you probably never realized was that, while Milk was out front getting all the glory and sending innocent lactose intolerant bystanders into spasms of pain often rivalling natural childbirth, Toto was trying to get our attention, barking at that mysterious curtain. Who or what was lurking there, you ask? Why, it's the red-headed stepchild of health. The one you don't want to pay attention to for very long because you're just too busy. It's poor, maligned Sleep.

Come here, Sleep. Introduce yourself. No? Oh, well. Sleep is often difficult to control. Right now, it's being Shy. You know what that is - we used to call it Bashful and it was sort of cute, like the dwarf. Of course, now it's quite serious and poor Bashful drags this baggage around everywhere it goes. Baggage with labels stuck on it. You know the ones - they all say rude things about an inability to socialize and people often try to stick them on homeschoolers. But I digress.

So, let's get back to Sleep. Oh, how often I wish it was that easy. Sometimes Sleep plays hide and seek, often finding such good hiding places that you can't find it for days. It can be quite elusive. Just when you think you've found it - Poof! - barely beyond your grasp. You can picture it behind that curtain, tugging desperately whilst Toto keeps yanking in to opposite direction. Some nights, the game goes on for hours, until one of the other participant finally gives up the ghost, leaving the other alone, gloating.

But, that's just when Sleep doesn't want to be found. What about those nights when Sleep really wants to do its job but we're too busy or absorbed in Something Important to pay attention to that stupid, damned Toto, yapping all the time, always wanting attention, dragging us kicking and screaming to see some dusty old curtain. Sure, we know what's back there. It's just Sleep. Sleep thinks it's got so much control with all those wheels to turn and ropes to pull. Yeah, sure. Great and Powerful. We know better than that. Get back behind the curtain where you belong.



If you were all that important, somebody would have made a commercial about you...like Milk.

Hmph, Sleep. How important could it be, anyway? Surely, we can get along with little doses of it. We have to show it who's boss. I mean, come on. Some nights you just have to beat your high score on Bejeweled - or finish that book - or knit a few more rows - or even all of the above. Besides, whoever heard of "Sleep - It does a body good"?